Growing Pains

The past two weeks have been just short of a whirlwind around our house! Gracie spent 4 days at basketball camp and Caroline spent 3 days with a friend the first week. The second week has just begun and my big kids just returned home from three more days of fun away from home. I'm finding it tough to adjust to their busy lives. Part of me wants to keep them home where I know they're safe and I don't have to worry about them, but the other part of me that remembers being their age wants to let them soak it all in while they're young. 

Today, Anna Kate and I reached boredom! We are not accustomed to being home alone for such an extended period of time. The weird thing is that even though it's easier to go out with just one kid, I feel a need to stay home when the big girls are away - just in case. I'm asking myself "just in case of what exactly?" and I really don't have an answer... Is it possible to worry without knowing you worry? I think I do that...

I had one of those moments today when I thought about the future and what will I do when the kids are gone - it made me sad. Currently, I am a full-time mom. Yes, I have the job that thousands of moms dream of having and thousands more don't want. My sole responsibility in this job is taking care of my family - cook food, clean dishes, do laundry, give kisses, clean house, and repeat. Today, I realized that part of that is letting the kids go, and I see myself struggling with it in the future as the definition of "letting them go" changes.

Looking back, I can see how my job as full-time mom has changed over the past 10 years, and how it will be changing again within the next 10...I'm praying for wisdom for this next stretch.

Too bad they can't just stay little...time really flies!

January 2009